Divergent Movie Review/Ramble

So I saw Divergent today and I review/ramble about my thoughts of the movie.


So Divergent was dumb, stupid, Travis fell asleep and when he woke I had to explain what was going on. Which was hard to do since I was awake and completely confused.

The guy in the movie was named “Four” and all I kept hearing was “Thor” which had me totally confused.
The chick in the movie had a weird shaped nose and we were waiting for Macklemore (who I had no idea was in it) to bust out and start singing, which actually didn’t happen and I was pissed off.
Ashley Judd was in it, I mean who knew she still made movies?
The president from “Scandal” (Tony Goldwyn) was in it and he made all the dumb facial expressions he does in the tv show.
Oh hey Miles Teller was in this and he played a jerk.
Did I mention this movie sucked? No? Well it did. I wouldn’t waste a free redbox code on it. Hell I wouldn’t use any DVR space either.
I’ve seen 4 bad movies in my last five (This, Non-Stop, RoboCop and Need for Speed), I am upset on the inside. I love movies.
So basically this chick is “Divergent”, which I still don’t have a clue what that means. Thanks for explaining that one, winner.
The guy at the flea market read Travis and my shirts to us out loud and I felt like saying “Good Job reader”.
Why is this movie so long? It’s painful! This movie is going to make a boatload of money and someone will finance a sequel. Good lord.
Still with me? Whew y’all are troopers…. Is “y’all” even a real world? Am I becoming southern? Is my punishment having to watch the rest of this movie?
So wait Eric (Jai Courtney) plays a hard ass in this movie and bust Tris (Shailene Woodley) balls the whole movie but when Tris disappears to see her family, Eric is nowhere to be found to give her a hard time? This is so dumb.
Okay so Kate Winslet was once in Titanic a movie about a sinking ship, now she’s playing in this movie which well is a sinking ship.
See what I did there? Yeah no worries I won’t quit my day job.
Get this: Peter (Miles Teller) plays a “bully” like character and at the end of the film he is seen running towards the train with everyone? Okay?
Still reading leave a comment about how I wasted a solid 20 minutes of the day reading this but you’ll thank me by not wasting 2 and half hours by seeing this train wreck they claim is a “movie”.
Well the movies over, how exciting. 2 and half hours of my life I can’t get back.
0 stars out of 5 
Macklemore (Jai Courtney) was a lone bright spot with his witty banter with “Four” or Thor (Theo James).
Bad Acting. Terrible story. Plot holes the size of the United States.
Moral of the story….. Don’t see this crap.

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